DOAT Ep 49: Porkins’ Gherkin

This week on the Dork of All Trades Podcast, Tim, John, and Ray talk about Star Wars Ep 3 & 4.

pickles

On the show we discuss Star Wars, Episode 3 Revenge of the Sith, Episode 4 A New Hope, Beer, Nostalgia, Fosters, Australia fer Beer, Hollywood Babble-On, Full of Sith, Space Battle, Droidekas, Ventilation Shafts, LEGO Star Wars, Star Wars Battlefront, Kashiek, Endor, Hoth, Jacoo, Droid-Hoes, Only a Sith deals in absolutes, Rule of 2, Don’t make excuses for George Fucking Lucas, That Jedi Show, bad dreams, Babe, dick measuring, Emo Anakin, Emo Spider-Man, Spider-Jedi, Batman V Superman, R2-KT, QT-KT, Fanboys, Christopher Walken, Palpatine Walken, annoying lizards, Younglings, Darth Vader, Mustafar, Dora the Sithsplorer, Green lightsaber, Twins, Leia Oregano, The Force Awakens, Starkiller, Starkiller Base, Rogue One, Darth Sidious, Star Wars 1977, Princess Leia, Nubian God, R2D2, C3PO, Search Party, Daniel Fleetwood, Comb the Desert, Bad Impressions, Super Power Beatdown, Batman vs Darth Vader, Force Choke, Arby’s, We Have The Meats, James Earl Jones, Hooper X, Kevin Smith, Chasing Amy, Jawas, Uncle Owen, Aunt Beru, Old Ben Kenobi, Moisture Farmer, Common language, Splitting Up, Sand People, Tusken Raiders, Grand Moff Tarkin, Cantina, Jaba the Hut, Boba Fett, life day, Kashyyk, Millenium Falcon, 12 Parsecs, Han Shot First, Greedo Shot First, Alderaan, Rebel Base, The Force, let the wookie win, Tractor Beam, Silicon Valley, Yoda, South Park, Chewbacca, Han Solo, Obi Wan, Dark Side, light side, which side of the force, Stormtroopers, Death of Obi Wan, Wedge Antilles, Porkins, Jek Porkins, womprats, Change, Porkins doesn’t pull up or pull out, Senator Organa, Princess Organa, King Vespa, Spaceballs, Who the Fuck are We, Wookie Impressions, and More!
The Dork of All Trades Podcast is hosted by
John Langan & Tim Berger
Website: http://dorkofalltrades.net
Twitter: @dorkofalltrades
Instagrams: @dorkofalltrades
& @dbzsnaps
Please like The Dork of All Trades Podcast on Facebook
Tumblr: dbzsnaps.tumblr.com
Special Thanks to all of the Nerd Podcast Mafia: So Wizard, Open All Powers, The Convo Comics Podcast, The Back Issue Pod, Fans on Patrol, and Cult-45 Podcast.

Sci-fi Shoot ’em Up

Written By: Seebz

Jess Nigri
The beautiful Cosplayer- Jessica Nigri as Anya Stroud, from Gears of War

 

“Hokey Religions and Ancient Weapons Are No Match for a Good Blaster at Your Side, Kid”- Han Solo

I’m sure most of us growing up were always playing with toy guns and swords, pretending to be Luke Skywalker wielding his lightsaber or a Colonial Marine shooting his pulse rifle at hordes of Xenomorphs.  Let’s be honest, the guns used in Sci Fi films are often the iconic identifier of that film.  Heck, those types of weapons kept my imagination running wild as a kid and gave me years of memorable playtime with my friends.  I just watched Starship Troopers the other day and it really made me wonder, what are some of the most amazing and identifiable guns out there in the Sci Fi world?

 

Since I mentioned Starship Troopers,Morita_Mk_I_Assault_Rifle_by_A13jandr0169 I’ll start off with every Mobile Infantry Soldier’s best friend, the Morita MK 1.  This beautifully crafted machine gun designed to mow down the arachnid forces of Klendathu really packed a punch.  To add to it’s already dominate abilities, is a secondary shotgun at the base of the handle in case you need a last resort for a swarming bug as demonstrated by Johnny Rico as it saved him from an almost guaranteed gruesome death in the first battle of the movie.  The only con to this beast is that it’s oddly shaped and wide, making it very difficult to make a quick get away.  But, perfect for a heroic last stand if you’re trapped on an empty outpost and ready to go out with a bang.

Next up is a weapon not too many people are familiar with, the M1-L1 triple pulse assault rifle made famous from the entertaining B-Movie, Deep Rising.  The only thing better than this weapon in the movie, is seeing a young hot Famke Janssen before her X-men days (Jean Grey).  To put the M1-L1 in laymen’s terms, it’s basically a mini-Gatling gun that holds a thousand rounds of ammo.  The rotating barrel was a very cool feature and I remember saying as a child “Me want”.  I honestly m1 l1think if it weren’t for this weapon, the giant spiked tentacle mutated octopus would have made quick work of the protagonists on this luxury cruise liner (yes cruise ship….I recommend this movie to anyone).

han solo  blasterNow onto the Blaster that inspired my choice of the subtitle of this blog, the DL-44 blaster. This weapon was made famous in Star Wars Episode IV and is the go-to choice for Han Solo.  We all know Han Solo will take a blaster over hokey religions and ancient weapons any day of the week and rightfully so if you’ve ever seen his shooting skills.  I think I chose this more so on the way Han carries and uses it like the space version of a cowboy and how quick he is to the draw killing any stormtrooper or bounty hunter who get in his way.  Also for the record, Han shot first.

Since we are on the subject of Star Wars and Stormtroopers, I have to mention the E-11 Blaster Rifle they wield.  I like this rifle especially for Stormtroopers, as it’s compact and very light for them to get around and end up being killed by Luke, Leia, Chewbacca etc…(This could go on for one thousand pages if I keep naming people who killed Stromtroopers).Stormtrooper_gun  Nevertheless, this was a very cool and memorable rifle in the Star Wars universe.  It’s almost a shame the bad guys wielded it and did it an injustice.  Stormtroopers couldn’t hit a target if Darth Vader himself was force guiding the lasers at their mark. But maybe that was built into the design of the rifle? Maybe not.

M41a_Pulse_Rifle_by_Paul_Muad_DibFinally, onto my favorite Sci Fi weapon of ALL TIME!  I’m of course talking about the M41A Pulse Rifle first introduced in James Cameron’s 1986 Aliens.  This is the key ingredient to make a Colonial Marine the “ultimate badass” (queue Aliens Director’s Cut reference).  You can argue that every sci fi nerd would recognize this gun, that’s how notorious it is.  It’s a badass weapon for a badass enemy, the Xenomorphs.  The weapon comes equipped with a 99 round magazine with a digital counter to track the remaining rounds.  If that wasn’t enough it also has a grenade launcher, a fucking grenade launcher!!!!  I think what sold me on the Pulse Rifle being my favorite sci fi gun is the scene in aliens-hudsonAliens of Private Hudson’s last stand. It’s basically him screaming a bunch of expletives taking as many Xenos with him as he can before being pulled through a floor panel.  At that moment I thought, “Yep that’s how I wanna go, Pulse Rifle in hand”.

 

Now I know there are so many more iconic guns out there but these are just a few that really stood out to me as a kid.  I’ll end this blog with a topic for you to comment with.  What is your favorite iconic Sci Fi gun or guns and why?